It's interesting, as I approach my 30th birthday (and come to terms with it like not being able to say "I'm in my '20's'" anymore, I still admit I'm a fan of random crap I find online. I wasn't born with the internet in 1982, but I grew up with it. So I have been there to see the development and the evolution of online life. I used to chat in chat rooms at 11 years old with others on Progidy, and then moved into mIRC in #Teenchat when I was 12 through 18. My online lifestyle wasn't shared by most of my classmates at the time because it wasn't as popular or mainstream as it is now, but having looked back, I was smart. I wanted to be online as well as liked in the school world so I was careful as to how much information about my home life I shared with my collegues and friends. No, I wasn't a poser, I played to the crowd, which is a major factor of psychological acceptance among our peers according to textbook psychology. Everyone is bullied in junior high/high school, it's just a fact of life, it's a rough world out there and how you accept it and grow from it is what matters. Just watching a Sourcefed video reminded me of it and how it makes me feel passionately for those kids who haven't the ability to control it in a proper way. Being that I'm considered "grown up" now, I can still relate to those teenagers because, we've all been there, we've all experienced bullying. I even bullied some kids because I wanted to feel mighty and strong too, but of course who did I pick? The girls "lower" or weaker than me. You never pick on the bigger stronger person because there's no reasoning to that. The thing is, you don't realize these facts until you've grown past it or above it. As a teenager you'll never realize what you're doing until you pass that time up and look back to your development because if you stay in the same mentality, you can't see yourself from the outside. It's like traveling, you can't see where you are until you can see where you've been. If you have never left your own neighborhood, how can you see yourself from the outside. I work with some people who are 42 year old bullies, they never grew past their bullying stage or no one ever told them that they have to be nice in order for people to be nice back. Those are the type of people who are not happy, they have limited friends, wonder why they can't keep a girlfriend, and are literally blind to their own actions and if you were to try and tell them that they're not getting along in society because of their own mental attitude, they deny the charges and blame the other guy. It's never their fault because they never grew past the mighty stage. I'm not a psych major, but I think there's an age where it's pointless to try and teach an adult to turn their life around, or it gets harder. The teenage years are such crucial years, its important to have a mentor and guidance. In a lot of my older art, I created art similar to those now in the same years. It was dark, it was surreal and I thought nobody understood. We do understand, but usually you won't listen, I didn't. I'd advise those now who are creating similar art, the dark-the decaying-the unsurpassed meaning of existence and meaning, to ease up. Stop asking for the attention and start being proactive in integrating into society where we all live. Maybe its my own longing attitude to be liked by everyone. I'm not asking to be understood by everyone, I know that's not going to happen. I hope it does, but I don't focus on it as much as being a nice person and likewise, liked. Some might need help, and it's okay to have help. Some people don't need it, some do, but it doesn't make you any less of a person to go and ask for the guidance that you think you need to function in social situations. It's like fitness, it's a hell of a lot easier to sit on the couch and watch videos than it is to get the motivation to get up and go for a run, but those that do don't regret it.
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